ON MY KNEES (To all my connects and followers)

Today I woke up and did something that I hadn’t done in ages, so long ago that I can’t remember the last time I’ve done it. Today I started my day on my knees, and know I didn’t fall. Today I started my day with a prayer. I felt like a son that hadn’t talked to his father in ages. And like a son who had a loving father, I felt received with open arms; no questions asked, no judgment, no sense that He was discussed with the things that I’ve done. I felt only welcomeness.

Those who’ve followed me know that I am an author of two books (a third on the way) and the creator of the blog site called “FATHERHOOD,” and all my other social endeavors and how passionate I am about what I do; most of all you know the endless and unconditional love that I have for my three beautiful wonderfully gifted daughters. I’m not a person that usually express my religious belief/faith outwardly or wear it on my shoulders, because I believe it’s a personal relationship. Not to get super spiritual on you guys…will I guess believing in God the Father and in his son Jesus is kinda “super spiritual.” But as I've said that my personal relationship. But then again who keeps a good thing to themselves?

But here’s the kicker, I’ve been working on this new book entitled “RECONSTRUCTION” for about a year and a half now. The more I wrote I began questioning some of the things that I was writing, not that what I was writing wasn’t the truth or even good because it was. but in so many ways I felt unworthy to be the one writing in the way that I was writing. And then a voice seemingly spoke to me (here we go with the super spiritual stuff, I know right?) and said “I didn’t inspire you to write this book just for it to be another one of your books, I inspired you to write it because it was the only way that I could speak to you. So the Father in his infinite way used my own hands to talk to me. WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK OF SUCH A THING!!! His ways are not our ways; his unconventional thoughts supersedes our conventional thinking. I also knew that my lifestyle had to be come up to the level of my rhetoric. Not that I had to be perfect because in all my rhetoric I’ve never indicated that I was perfect. But perfection is something that we should pursue not ignore. Even though it may be unreachable (on earth) we should go in the direction of perfection and not evade it.

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and have been found lacking. I have tried to fill and cover up that lacking with soooo many things; things that satisfied me physically or made me appear good outwardly but did nothing for the emptiness, anger, and uncertainty in side me. But all the while hoping that through my writings in book form or blogs would helped and inspired folks because they were written from my heart with truth and love. And I will continue to write about Fatherhood and on inspiring people in the way of social justice but this time from a fulfilled heart.

It is in those times when we’re by ourselves, when no one is around, no one to pump you up, no one to put on a front for, no one to gas you up, no one to hate on, no one around you so you can pretend to be what you're not. A times when you come face to face and are introduced to Y-O-U. Look fam, at the end of the day when we go to sleep whether you're sleeping next to someone, or by yourself we all will close our eyes separately uncertain that we will ever open them again. But this day I woke up and did something that I haven’t done in ages, so long ago that I can’t remember the last time I’ve done it. Today I started my day on my knees and talked to my Heavenly Father something I haven’t done in AGES.

To the sons and daughters; when was the last time you’ve talked to your father (your earthly father)? And fathers when was the last time you’ve reached out to your children? Fathers, when your children come to you just as lacking in their souls as I was; what will your response be? Will you welcome them with open arms or will you say “I told you so” or “Now look at you.” Life is not meant for us to be perfect but it ask that we be patient in life trail even when it seems as though it's demolishing us from the inside out. and indeed that's exactly what it's doing but only for the purpose of erecting something new; transforming and reconstructing us into something better than we were before.

The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,' says the LORD Almighty. 'And in this place I will grant peace,' declares the LORD Almighty."~ Haggai 2:9

I woke up today on my knees. Sometimes life brings you so low that you can only look up. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were someone there to look to?

p.s. This is my personal journey where I look for personal growth. I judge no one. Peace and much love.